I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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