just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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