dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
