After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
