I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
