Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
