i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
