My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
