I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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