he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
