She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
