this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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