I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
