found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
