D3 body, D1 cock
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
