oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
