You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
