he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You've changed since you got that strap on
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
