Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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