my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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