so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Randomize
