At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
