when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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