The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
