Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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