I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My bed smells like the plague
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
