There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
