what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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