He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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