You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
im holly from the hills drunk
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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