He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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