dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
