Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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