Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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