I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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