fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
