Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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