I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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