no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
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