the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
