this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
