and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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