So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
