I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
