I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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