Screwed.edu
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
