Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
bring money and cleavage
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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