I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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