Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
