Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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