i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
